The forbidden word.

In the colourful world ,

All I  could see was  black and grey,

Tried mixing colours, but the monochromatic colour showcased my emotions the best.

I wish I could enjoy the beauty around ,

But I remained as a woman of sight  yet

blind  .

Lost of time, wandering in the thoughts tried saving myself and time, but nothing worked. 

 warnings sounding harder," don't waste time".  I didn't know if I was wasting time, or saving myself from being wasted.

"No time" has become my phrase , not that I'm busy ,But that's how I escape.

Be bright and shine, thats how i hid that agony which controlled my heart.

But my face did not know how to  shine , for it has forgotten how to do so.

Nothing bright , everything just dull.

I wish I could colour it , but I knew no colour apart from grey that's how much my emotions matched.

I couldn't find a reason to be happy cause every happy face had a depression that was killing them .

hiding the tears with a fake smile just to act normal  .

Sorrow creeping, but motivation was the cover. Perhaps motivation was that leaking cover. 

Depression was killing me , 

I scremed for help nobody could hear me.

Cause I spoke the  forbidden word  "depression " .

I couldn't make myself feel any better.

My solitude became disturbing.

The " I don't know" phase just got into my veins by ruling  my entire body .

I wish I could say proudly  without fearing  judgements, that I'm depressed.

I hope i would receive hugs rather than criticism for being a depressed soul.

I wish advices Weren't the only remedy people knew, cause they were killing the dead me.

Only if a little love and ears could be available for a little time.

I wish I could save that soul from dying to becoming a testimony.

I wish I could spare that knife and save my veins from being cut.